My Inner Fight

To fully understand and feel my words please read alongside this music.

World is so strange. When one small person starts with something he is so small. Alone against whole world. It feels like it is impossible to break through. I believe that it is possible, but I’m mostly fighting against myself.

My problem is that I’m thinking that I need MORE (money, time, space, health energy). THIS is my endless fight. Screaming to void. When my only enemy is me. This blog post will fall in oblivion if I will stop writing. BUT if I continue it might be motivation to people like me. The consistency is a way for me. For anyone. No one ever win a fight or make money with one “shot”. Please, one that you are reading this, pray for me. I must continue no matter what. I must fight myself. My body. I feel weak sometimes. But I promise to myself that I must change it.

I’m 27 old. Feel like I can do something with my situation. I’m making good money with my day job, but feel like it is possible to do something better. My main influence comes from J.R.R Tolkien. I love what he did. He basically invented whole fantasy genre. All the games set in the fantasy worlds are influenced by him. He is EVERYWHERE.

I know, those are just my non-organized thoughts, but I feel like I’m doing something meaningful, like I start to make some small changes in this world. And that change is, that I’m doing something what I love. I love to to work on something higher.

My main enemies are those things:

  1. Being lazy at the morning. I should wake up earlier and exercise, take some breakfast. Slow down and meditate maybe.
  2. Gaming. Even if I’m not playing too much time, it drains part of my energy away. Don’t feel like it brings me as much joy as it did in my early days.
  3. Listnening to sad/angry music (in my case trap rap). I think that music has big influence and when person listnens to wrong music it drains happiness or joy. I may cause that you are sad and you don’t know why.
  4. Spending on things I don’t need. Sometimes I buy food or stuff which is not necessary.
  5. Not PLANING. I think this is big part why I’m not successful as I want to be. I think it is very important to set some goals. I feel like this can be improved in my life. I want to become better planner.

This is it for now. And remember: You are not fighting with world. You are fighting against yourself.

I must be better in fighting what my body wants. I must follow my hearth even when I don’t feel it now. I think that my brain knows better than my lazy body what is best for me.

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